novels

50 Shits Of Shit – Prologue

So, everyone is currently talking about 50 Shades Of Grey by [name of author – DO NOT FORGET IT’S IMPORTANT]. By all accounts, this book is a frequently saucy, but ultimately thoroughly shit bit of fan fiction which has somehow made it onto bookshelves, seemingly everywhere all at once.

Like an idiot, I bought the book with a view to writing an account of how it came over to the average man.

But based on the opening paragraph, I’m not even sure I can do this., Also, having read the descriptions of the novel’s male character; the dashing, mega-rich, sensitive, power-pervert Christopher Grey, I’m not even sure I am a man.

Here’s the opening paragraph, the indicator for the ride ahead; the springboard, if you will, into this novel’s world. Y’know, the world you want to escape to when reading the novel. This is what that world’s like:

“I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror. Damn my hair – it just won’t behave, and damn Katherine Kavanagh for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal. I should be studying for my final exams, which are next week. Yet here I am trying to brush my hair into submission. I must not sleep with it wet. I must not sle–”

You know what, you don’t need a paragraph. That’s hopefully enough of an indicator. And I have chosen to review this book, so that you don’t have to. Ever.

Shit.